M&M's and Men
by Techno Skittles
Summary: "They're all the same! You're all so predictable!. . .They're just like M&M's!" Maka blurted out. Oneshot. Slight SoMa  if you squint REALLY, REALLY hard .


**M&M's**

All men are the same.

This thought was angrily bouncing around Maka's head as she glared at the TV screen, displeased with the events going on. It was a typical tearjerker. The heroine was being abandoned by the guy of her dreams, all because he couldn't handle their relationship. The only option he could come up with apparently was to dump her like an outdated black-and-white TV the second a flat-screen HD TV came around.

They all deserved to rot in Hell.

The heroine became crying as her ex walked off nonchalantly, unaware of her shattered heart pouring out of her chest. It was all Maka could do not to destroy the television and instead turned off the screen, disgusted. She poured another handful of M&M's into her mouth as she let the chocolate candies calm her. Chocolate really was a girl's best friend.

Soul walked into the living room holding a bowl of steaming instant ramen and chopsticks. His eyes flickered over to the blank television screen and back to Maka, on the couch, shoving M&M's into her mouth by the dozen. "What the hell is your problem?" he asked. He sat down on the couch next to her.

Maka rolled her eyes and adjusted herself into a more comfortable position where she was laying down, holding the bag of M&M's close to her chest. "Nothing," she muttered and dropped a few more M&M's into her mouth. "Nothing at all."

"Liar." Soul scooped the hot ramen noodles into his mouth, chewing slowly as if contemplating something. In the meantime, Maka continued to eat her M&M's, fuming over the ending to the show she had just turned off. Men were all just idiotic liars and players, going out of their precious way to crush and destroy a girl's heart.

Was hell even a bad enough place for them?

"So what were you watching just now? Some stupid chick flick or something?" He scooped more noodles into his mouth, his sharp teeth eager to devour it. He leaned back and kicked his socked feet up onto the coffee table. "Is that what's got you so upset?"

What the hell did he know? How could he just go and judge her like that as someone girl who actually cried at soap operas and crap?

Frowning, Maka brought her foot back as far as she could and shot it into Soul's side who winced at the sudden and painful contact.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he shouted.

The scythe's technician's mind wandered off back to the show. He left her, on her doorstep. He left her for dead, bluntly indicating he didn't care what happened to her anymore. Her life was ruined, all because of that sorry excuse of life.

"All men deserve to go and burn in the fiery pits of Hell," she muttered.

Soul quirked one of his eyebrows as his dark crimson eyes glanced at her. "I resent that," he said from his further down position on the couch, out of reach of Maka's foot.

"Well it's true!" she shouted back. Her upper body sprung up and she faced him fully. Her legs remained propped up on the couch as she continued her stare down with her partner. "They're all the same! You're all so predictable! You're all like. . .like. . ." Maka trailed off at a loss of words for a good example. Her anger was getting in the way of rational thinking and it started to cloud her mind. _'Think, Maka, think,'_ she thought to herself. Her eyes roamed around the room, grasping at straws for something to say, _anything_ to say to refrain from looking like an idiot. Her eyes traveled down to the King Size bag of M&M's in her hand and the figurative light bulb illuminated above her cranium. "They're just like M&M's!" she blurted out.

Soul's silvery eyebrows escalated in shock and he asked, "Care to explain what you mean by that?"

Maka began chewing mercilessly on her tongue as a well-thought argument budded in her mind. "Just like I said. Men are all like M&M's." She reached into the plastic bag and pulled out an assortment of the colorful candies and held out her hand to demonstrate to Soul.

"See the colors? They're all different looking. Red, blue, green, yellow. All of them seem different on the outside." She spread out the M&M's more evenly on her hand, giving a better view to all of the colors. "Just like men. They all look so colorful and different on the outside. There isn't one that looks like the other." Her voice quieted down. "They all show promise. Make girls think that maybe he's the one. The different one. The unique one. The one who stands out from the rest, who isn't afraid to stray from the oppressing path of male stereotypes. The one who seems so kind and loving."

The snow-haired demon scythe looked at his meister's solemn face and could've sworn he had seen her eyes glaze over with unshed tears. Deciding not to mention it, his gaze returned to her hand holding the M&M's as she picked one of them up with her other hand, holding it between her thumb and index finger.

"But inside," she spoke up, breaking their sudden silence. She lifted the small hard candy to her mouth and bit it in half and brought the other half down for him to see. "Inside they're all the same. Their outside appearances look different, deceiving girls into believing their lies so that they can get what they want, when they want, because it suits them. But inside, they're all the same. Just like an M&M."

Soul stared at the chocolate candy for a minute, looked up at Maka, back at the candy, then back to Maka before cracking a mocking smile. "What? Sweet and chocolate-y?" he asked.

Maka sat there silently, numb as she began to process exactly what her partner had said. She looked down at the candy, or more like the candy's chocolate center. Sweet and chocolate-y. . .

"GAH!" she cried out before falling onto the couch on her back. "That was a bad example!" she shouted. She blindly grabbed for one of the couch pillows and pressed it down onto her face. "I'm just going to lay here now and never let another stupid word leave my mouth again," came her muffled voice through her pillow.

Soul's deep laughter reached her ears and the pressure from the other end of the couch disappeared. Maka removed the pillow to see him standing up and glared at him before she plopped the pillow onto her face again. "It's not funny," she screamed.

"Eh. I prefer Skittles anyway," his retreating voice said as he headed to the kitchen.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Random oneshot that popped into my mind as I was eating M&M's. :3 The original ending was kidnapped and replaced by this one. Why does that always happen to me?**

**Oh, well. I hope you like this so I know that I didn't waste my time on it (which I think I did).**

**Until next time~!**


End file.
